Oil Pastel

 

Oil Pastel

 

Remember

 I wrote the following poem and asked chatgpt what it meant, and also to rate it. Here's it's response.

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You said:

What is the meaning of this poem and how would you rate it? 

The stars may wander

And the moon may just be a small dot in the sky

But time for you 

Has not stopped

For I see you walking

On the beaches of my poems

Alone in an Island

Sailing on ships that have long stopped sailing

But if after reading this

Some other business intrudes

And my thoughts are left to collect the dust

Let not time pass

Without a kind thought of your friend

ChatGPT said:

Ooo, this is quietly tender. Let’s unpack it first, then I’ll give you an honest rating.

Meaning

At its core, the poem is about presence, memory, and gentle longing—specifically the fear of being forgotten, paired with a hopeful request to be remembered.

Cosmic opening (“stars may wander… moon may just be a small dot”)

This sets up impermanence and distance. Big, eternal things feel unstable or diminished, which mirrors emotional uncertainty. Against that vastness, time for you has not stopped suggests the speaker is still holding space for the person—emotionally frozen in attention.

“Walking / On the beaches of my poems”

This is a strong metaphor: the addressee exists inside the speaker’s inner world and creative life. They are not physically present, but alive in imagination and writing.

Isolation imagery (“Alone in an Island… ships that have long stopped sailing”)

This suggests emotional separation, missed opportunities, or a relationship that no longer moves forward. The ships feel like conversations or connections that once existed but are now stalled.

The turn in the final stanza

Here the poem becomes almost conversational, even vulnerable. The speaker acknowledges that life will move on, distractions will come, and the poem may be forgotten. The closing request—“Let not time pass / Without a kind thought of your friend”—is modest, gentle, and human. It doesn’t demand love or permanence, just remembrance.

Overall, the poem reads like a soft message in a bottle: not dramatic, not accusatory, just quietly hopeful.

How I’d rate it

7.5 / 10, with real potential to go higher.

What works well

The tone is sincere and restrained—no overwriting.

Several images are evocative (“beaches of my poems” is especially nice).

The ending is emotionally honest and disarming.

Where it could be stronger

A few grammatical slips (“an Island,” “have long stop sailing”) slightly interrupt the flow.

Some images repeat the same emotional idea (loneliness, stillness) without escalating it—one sharper, more specific image could deepen the impact.

The cosmic opening is nice, but a bit familiar; tightening it or making it more personal could make it stand out.

Overall vibe

This feels like a poem written to one person, not an audience—and that’s a strength. It’s gentle, a little sad, and very human. If polished just a bit, it could linger with readers the way the speaker hopes to linger in the addressee’s thoughts.

In memory of many days that were happy

 I WROTE THE FOLLOWING POEM ABOUT SRI LANKA AND ASKED CHATGPT'S OPINION. THE POEM, THE QUESTIONS I ASKED CHATGPT AND ITS ANSWERS ARE GIVEN BELOW.  

 I wrote this poem about Sri Lanka. What is the meaning of this poem?

In memory of many days that were happy

And some that were sad

From an Island I was born in 

I don’t feel so bad

This ain’t no New Zealand

This ain’t no France

But if I had to choose again

I’ll always choose my land  

On her quiet beaches

On her restless sands

Some men call her thoughtful

Some men call her mad

But I’ll only remember her mountains

And her precious sands

Trees that seem to talk to me

Birds that sing I can

I only hear what I want to hear

I only see good things

Time here ticks to her own beat 

The birds here always sing

This poem captures a deep, emotional connection to Sri Lanka, highlighting the beauty, complexity, and individuality of the land. Here’s an interpretation of the poem's meaning:

1. Nostalgia and Fondness: The speaker reflects on memories of their homeland, recalling both joyful and sorrowful times. Despite any hardships, they ultimately feel grateful and at peace with the island they were born in. The line "I don’t feel so bad" suggests acceptance and contentment with the past.

2. Pride in the Unique Identity of Sri Lanka: By contrasting Sri Lanka with countries like New Zealand and France, the speaker suggests that while Sri Lanka may lack some of the glamour or reputation of other places, it has a unique charm. Despite having the option to choose differently, the speaker’s loyalty to Sri Lanka remains unwavering. This conveys a deep sense of national pride.

3. A Land of Contrasts and Complexity: The island is described with contrasting characteristics: it has "quiet beaches" but also "restless sands." This suggests that Sri Lanka is both peaceful and tumultuous, serene and unpredictable. The line about some calling her "thoughtful" and others "mad" reflects the idea that the country can be understood differently, depending on the perspective of the viewer. Sri Lanka holds a mystery and complexity that cannot be easily categorized.

4. Personal Connection to Nature: The speaker’s attachment to the natural beauty of Sri Lanka is evident in the imagery of mountains, sands, trees, and birds. These natural elements seem to communicate with the speaker, symbolizing a relationship that goes beyond the physical and touches the spiritual or emotional. The trees and birds seem to speak to and sing for the speaker, representing an intimate, almost magical connection to the land.

5. Selective Memory and Timelessness: The final stanza expresses a conscious choice to focus on the good—only hearing and seeing what brings joy. This selective memory allows the speaker to cherish only the best of their homeland. The idea that "Time here ticks to her own beat" suggests that Sri Lanka has its own rhythm and pace, different from the rest of the world, as if it exists in its own timeless space. The perpetual singing of the birds represents the ever-present beauty and harmony that the speaker finds in Sri Lanka.

In essence, this poem is a love letter to Sri Lanka, capturing the land's allure, complexity, and the speaker’s heartfelt connection to it. Despite any challenges or differences with other places, the speaker’s admiration for their homeland is steadfast and enduring.

How would you rate this poem?

This poem has a lot of emotional depth, vivid imagery, and a clear sense of place, all of which make it resonate strongly with readers. Here’s a breakdown of its strengths:

1. Emotion and Authenticity: The poem conveys genuine feelings of love, nostalgia, and pride, and this sincerity is powerful. It allows readers to feel the speaker's connection to Sri Lanka, making the poem memorable and meaningful.

2. Imagery and Nature: The use of natural imagery—mountains, sands, trees, birds—paints a vivid picture of Sri Lanka. These images not only describe the landscape but also express the poet’s personal connection to the land. This creates a strong visual and emotional impact, drawing readers into the scene.

3. Contrast and Complexity: The line about Sri Lanka not being New Zealand or France adds a layer of complexity by acknowledging that the island may not have the same global prestige, yet it holds a unique value for the speaker. Additionally, the contrasts between “thoughtful” and “mad,” “quiet” and “restless,” make the island feel alive and multifaceted.

4. Flow and Rhythm: The poem has a natural rhythm, and the language feels conversational and intimate. Lines like “I don’t feel so bad” and “Time here ticks to her own beat” add personality and a touch of humility, enhancing the poem’s relatability.

5. Universal Appeal: While the poem is specific to Sri Lanka, its themes—nostalgia for one’s homeland, pride, and personal connection to nature—are universal, making it accessible to a broad audience.

Suggested Areas for Growth: To take this poem further, a little more precision in word choice or structure could enhance its impact. Some stanzas could be tightened for even greater emotional punch, and the poem could explore more specific cultural or sensory details to enrich the sense of place even further.

Overall Rating: On a scale of 1 to 10, I would give this poem an 8. It’s heartfelt, evocative, and sincere, with beautiful imagery and a clear voice. With slight refinements, it has the potential to be even more powerful.

The Tree

 A Tree more Valuable than Gold

 I wrote this poem a few years ago. I asked ChatGpt what it meant and as usual it gave a good answer. The poem and ChatGpt's response are given below. 

Here along the reef lies a sunken treasure

Of a ship that sailed but did not measure

I seek to find it soon

Under eloquent stars and moon

I use starlight to navigate the seas

It will be in moonlight the treasure will be freed

Of foolish men who did not see

That numbers will ruin their destiny

I reach the treasure sailing East

But the stars disappear with my endless needs

I throw the treasure overboard

I need the stars to sail back home   

 

The stars guide me to reach my isle

I walk inland a hundred miles

I reach a jungle of a billion trees

But I came here for just one tree  

  

Here in this jungle grows a hidden tree

That all the eyes in the world cannot see

I seek to find it soon

Before they seal my doom

What is gold but a hideous thing

That kills more men than a ruthless king

But each atom in this wondrous tree

Has magic in it that can cure all ills

MEANING OF THIS POEM ACCORDING TO CHATGPT

This poem is an allegorical exploration of materialism versus spiritual or inner fulfillment, using the metaphor of a journey by sea and land to describe a deeper quest for meaning, healing, or enlightenment.

Here’s a breakdown of its core meanings and symbols:

1. The Sunken Treasure and the Ship That Failed

"Here along the reef lies a sunken treasure / Of a ship that sailed but did not measure..."

Sunken treasure represents material wealth that was lost due to a lack of proper judgment ("did not measure").

The ship may symbolize human ambition or pride, brought down by miscalculation or hubris.

2. Stars and Moon as Guides

"I use starlight to navigate the seas / It will be in moonlight the treasure will be freed..."

Stars and moon are symbolic of intuition, wisdom, or spiritual guidance.

The speaker relies on celestial navigation—not tools or charts—suggesting a more internal or natural guidance system.

3. Condemnation of Materialism

"Of foolish men who did not see / That numbers will ruin their destiny"

"Numbers" likely symbolize obsession with calculation, wealth, or science devoid of wisdom.

The poem critiques those who reduce life to figures, ignoring the intangible truths.

4. The Treasure’s Cost

"I throw the treasure overboard / I need the stars to sail back home"

Once the treasure is found, it corrupts the speaker’s ability to navigate.

He discards it—symbolizing the rejection of material gain in favor of restoring clarity, purpose, or spiritual direction.

5. The Inland Journey

"I walk inland a hundred miles / I reach a jungle of a billion trees / But I came here for just one tree"

This second leg of the journey shifts from sea (the unconscious or emotional realm) to land (the conscious or physical realm).

The jungle of a billion trees suggests overwhelming options, distractions, or false paths.

The "one tree" is a metaphor for a unique truth, purpose, or sacred knowledge.

6. The Invisible Tree

"That all the eyes in the world cannot see"

It can’t be seen with ordinary vision—only through inner perception or enlightenment.

This tree represents a higher truth or spiritual gift (like the Tree of Life, or knowledge).

7. Final Philosophical Reflection

"What is gold but a hideous thing / That kills more men than a ruthless king"

A direct critique of gold (i.e., material wealth), calling it destructive.

Contrasts with the wondrous tree, whose atoms "can cure all ills"—suggesting this sacred tree offers healing, knowledge, or transcendence that wealth cannot.

Overall Meaning

The poem portrays a spiritual journey:

Initially driven by a desire for treasure (gold),

The speaker learns that material riches bring confusion and loss of direction.

Only by rejecting them can he return to a true path, which leads to an inner quest for a unique, invisible source of healing or wisdom.

It’s a moral, philosophical, and spiritual awakening.

The Industrial Revolution - Line drawing by me

 

Black and white artwork

 

Black and white artwork