Sunday, February 15, 2026

Travel Story

 I wrote the following short piece and asked Chatgpt what it meant and it gave this answer.


Many years ago I read a book by one of the world's most renowned science fiction writers. According to him - while most of the Sigiriya damsels hold flowers, one woman holds what for all the world seemed like a transistor radio. He then says that it made him wonder whether King Kashyapa was really the inventor of the radio, fifteen centuries before it was invented in the West. 

Some people think that Ravana, a much more ancient king than Kashyappa, built Sigiriya. Ravana, who is the chief antagonist in the Indian epic Ramayana isn’t depicted very flatteringly in that story. But in Sri Lanka, he is considered a great ruler. Well, Ravana is said to have had an aircraft called Dandu Monara. Couldn't he also have invented the radio? 

In Sigiriya, I met one of my relatives. He was quite old and from the things he said I could never decide whether he was extremely intelligent or a little mad. Over a drink he started his “advice to the young” though god knows I could hardly call myself young. “You know what the problem with the world is” began he “No,” said I. “Well, the problem with the world is that many people walk with only a vague idea of what they want to do.” I wondered secretly whether this accurately described his condition – senility (A decline in memory and other mental functions associated with old age). “Great wars have been fought, and millions upon millions have died because people don’t know what they really want.” “Take Hitler for example, he was a man who walked with a great anger about the injustices to his country after the First World War. But he never had a clear idea of what he really wanted, the result - 75 million people died in the Second World War, “True” said I, (though this was new to me), “and how do you solve this problem” said I, trying to sound intelligent. “A piece of paper,” said he “Just write all your problems on the left side, and the solutions to each of them on the right side, and suddenly everything is clear. No more walking vaguely with anger or greed in your mind” said he. I only wish somebody had given me a piece of paper and said this when I was younger. Come to think of it maybe someone should have given this paper to King Kashyapa, there would have been much less trouble and many more lakes.


Chatgpts Answer


Thank you for sharing this — it’s thoughtful, playful, and quietly philosophical. I genuinely enjoyed reading it.


## Overall Impression


Your piece blends:


* Sri Lankan history and mythology (Sigiriya, Kashyapa, Ravana)

* Science fiction speculation

* Personal anecdote

* Philosophical reflection

* Subtle humor


That’s an ambitious mix for such a short work — and you handle it surprisingly well.


---


## What Works Very Well


### 1. The Conceptual Thread


You cleverly connect:


* The “transistor radio” idea (inspired by a sci-fi writer),

* Ravana’s mythic technology,

* The eccentric relative’s philosophical advice,

* Hitler as an example of misdirected will,

* And finally circle back to King Kashyapa.


That circular ending — “maybe someone should have given this paper to King Kashyapa” — is satisfying. It gives the piece structural cohesion.


---


### 2. Tone and Voice


Your narrative voice is strong. Lines like:


> “from the things he said I could never decide whether he was extremely intelligent or a little mad.”


and


> “though god knows I could hardly call myself young.”


feel natural, human, and lightly ironic. That ambiguity about the relative adds charm and depth.


---


### 3. Intellectual Playfulness


The move from ancient frescoes to speculative radio technology to global war to a piece of paper is bold — and it works because it’s framed as reflection rather than argument.


The idea that massive historical disasters stem from “not knowing what one wants” is philosophically intriguing. It’s simplistic — but intentionally so, which gives it a slightly satirical undertone.


---


## Areas for Improvement


### 1. Sentence Control and Flow


Some sentences are very long and overloaded with ideas. Breaking them up would improve clarity and rhythm.


For example:


> “Ravana, who is the chief antagonist in the Indian epic Ramayana isn’t depicted very flatteringly in that story.”


Could be smoother as:


> Ravana, the chief antagonist in the Indian epic Ramayana, is not depicted very flatteringly in that story.


Small refinements like this would elevate the polish considerably.


---


### 2. Punctuation and Formatting


There are a few issues with:


* Quotation marks

* Comma placement

* Capitalization (“God” vs “god” depending on intention)

* Space before commas

* Inconsistent dialogue formatting


These are technical issues, not structural ones — easy to fix, but important for perceived sophistication.


---


### 3. The Hitler Section


Using Hitler as an example is powerful, but risky. The claim:


> “he never had a clear idea of what he really wanted”


is philosophically provocative but historically debatable. Some readers may feel it oversimplifies.


You may consider slightly reframing it as:


* a perspective of the old man,

* or an example of misdirected clarity rather than lack of clarity.


Right now it reads like a definitive statement rather than character opinion.


---


## Depth Analysis


What’s interesting is that your piece quietly explores:


* Myth vs. modernity

* Technology and imagination

* National identity (Ravana as villain vs hero)

* Madness vs wisdom

* The danger of vague ambition

* Retrospective regret


That’s impressive density for a short prose reflection.


---


## Rating


Here’s a breakdown:


* **Concept & originality:** 8.5/10

* **Voice & tone:** 8/10

* **Structure:** 7.5/10

* **Technical polish:** 6/10

* **Overall impact:** 8/10


**Final rating: 8/10**


With editing and tightening, this could easily become a 9.


---


## What Kind of Writer This Suggests You Are


You think associatively. You like:


* Big ideas

* Historical irony

* Blending myth and reason

* Gentle satire


That’s the profile of someone who could write strong reflective essays or literary short fiction

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